There are days that I hope for a God of Judgement. Until that time arrives, if it arrives, it is up to us human beings to see the work of justice be done on this earth. I sat riveted listening to Dr. Ford’s and Judge Kavanaugh’s testimony. First, I have to say, as a man, I am tentative to speak about this. I feel this is a time to lift up womens’ voices. As a minister though, I feel it is my religious responsibility to use what ever moral authority I have to shed light on the issue and to raise the consciousness of whoever will listen. Throughout my life, first just as a compassionate listener and now as a minister, I have heard women’s stories about harassment and abuse. Earlier this week at a local rally we heard story after story of women harassed and abused by men. And yes, I know men are abused as well, and I do not diminish that, but it is at a much smaller %. And yes, research has shown that a small % of claims brought forth are found to be false. Over 95% of abuse claims are real and true (and a large majority never reported), and personal experience confirms that high %. I therefore believe people and especially women when an accusation is made. And let me assure you that the trauma of such harassment and abuse is devastating and long lasting. We need to change the moral bankruptcy of men in this world. This is not a court of law. This is not just for a nomination on the supreme court. This is a court of moral opinion of how we are going to interact with each other as humans.
Changing the culture will require a shift. Men (and women) are enculturated into this machismo misogyny. Every movie with Bogart or John Wayne just grabbing the women and kissing her, makes it seem reasonable to just grab women and kiss them. How many romantic comedies have men stalking women (I think of the movie where he is outside her house with a boombox blasting “their” song) until the women gives in and admits their love. Men do not see this as harassment. They see it just the way things are. When women try to reject these overtures men often become angry and violent. Time and again when women come forward to authorities they are excoriated and forced to endure humiliation for coming forward.
Dr. Ford’s testimony was credible. And I cringe even writing that. I am someone who has had to give court depositions, and is interviewed often on television. It is nerve wracking and pressure-filled and you have to be precise and it is difficult to do under normal circumstances. I cannot imagine how it must be talking publicly about a personal trauma. So she was more then credible and believable. She was courageous. She didn’t have to do this. The Republican Senators used an inquisitor who spoke for them when Dr. Ford was on the stand. The Republicans admitted themselves they could not control themselves from saying stupid things. That in and of itself shows their moral bankruptcy. The inquisitor focused her time asking questions that were clearly trying to trip up the witness and show that this was a bigger conspiracy rather then uncover the truth. Dr. Ford did not fall for the bait, from either Republican or Democratic lawmakers (as they tried to get her to expand her story). She told her truth and should be believed.
Judge Kavanaugh’s uncontrolled (or crafted) emotional outbursts, his refusal to answer some questions, his obfuscation of other questions, and his partisan attacks shows me a number of things. One he is denying the mistakes of his youth, but worse, he has not learned from them. He thinks he can just bully people and thinks that is acceptable attitude. Second, his temperament and partisanship should be a disqualifier. The fact that he has lied several times and his papers are being hidden, tells me he is not a trustworthy person. He has no empathy for others, as shown by his unwillingness to even shake the hand of the parent of a child killedd by gun violence at the hearings. He doesn’t see that the things he does are harassment. He yelled at and attacked the woman Senator who asked him a difficult question about whether he ever blacked out. He thinks it is ok to yell at senators who are questioning you for a job. Yell, attack and then cry when you are challenged. That is the misogynist way. He particularly twitched and was evasive when Sen. Kamala Harris questioned him (A woman of color). When people are in power, or have power over others, it is rare that they give it up willingly. And they fight every time when that power is challenged. The anger we saw from Kavanaugh yesterday and the anger we saw from Republican lawmakers (who finally found their voice to speak to Kavanaugh – I guess it is ok to say stupid stuff amongst men) was this rejection that someone would reject their power over them. In the 19th century we had to have a civil war about this. Instead of looking for truth, instead of showing compassion, they condemned, and by so doing they have fallen short.
The committee will approve Kavanaugh. Jeff Flake is the one who has fallen the farthest from God. The other Republicans are unabashed misogynists. Jeff Flake tries to pretend that he is compassionate and reasonable, but in the end Flake votes for Kavanaugh’s approval. He votes for cutting taxes, he votes to cut social programs that will help those who are suffering. He has fallen the furthest because of his duplicity and thus he will end up in the lower levels of hell (if there is a hell or else he will be in long term remediation class in heaven or reincarnated as a mosquito.) We have a President who has been on tape bragging about sexually abusing women. He and the people he appoints are hostile to women’s health issues. They are not arbiters of good morality.
The question is what are we going to do about it. If the law will not protect women, how can women protect themselves. How can we support them. It is the question people of color and poor people have to answer every day as well. Yes, I was riveted by the testimonies yesterday. It was like watching a car wreck. It was horrible and I couldn’t take my eyes off it. But unlike car accidents this was not an accident, it is an avoidable and changeable tragedy. For me It is important to witness the tragedy, and it is important to speak about the tragedy, so that we can find a new way. Create a new way.
Women, all harassment and abuse survivors, I hear you. I know you are in pain. And I commit to lift up your voices, I commit to work to end the patriarchy that destroys so many lives, and limits so many souls from flourishing, and ends love. I have to work hard not to let love die in my soul, when these events happens. I am human. I have my own failings. I get discouraged, I have had my own tragedies. I take time to look within myself and see what can I do or not do to help make things better. Ending the patriarchy is not being anti-man. It is to end men’s control over women. That can be freeing for men as well, but certainly and mostly it is about justice for women.
As a religious leader, it is my role to speak the truth and to espouse a vision of a better way to be in community even if those in power do not agree. I also know it my role to lift up hope and the possibility of a world based on compassion and love. One of the greatest gifts Unitarian Universalism has given me is that it opened my mind, and then my heart to hearing other people’s stories and perspectives by being in relationship with them in a covenanted community. It is hard to let go of old ways of thinking. But since I had covenanted to be in right relationship with people I learned to listen and to change and grow. I believe it can happen for others and the world. It is why I became a minister. To share that message that love, compassion, hope and change is possible. It may not be today, it may not be in my lifetime, but I will do my share in my time to bring that about, in every small and large way I can in the here and now, and I ask you to do so as well. Do not give up. DO NOT GIVE UP. Do not sit back. The old ways are dieing, but they are not going quietly or peaceably as we saw on display at the Kavanaugh hearings. And the patriarchy seems intent on taking everyone down with them before they change. All good people need to join together and listen and believe and act together. I hear you, I believe you. How can I help you change the world.