Meanderings on Retreat - "Train Train Running All Night Long"

Riding on the train. It is like watching a nature film from the train window. Different animals, different landscapes. Illinois , Iowa  and Missouri with its flat  lands and rolling hills  of vegetation. Colorado, with it wondrous  mountains,New Mexico with lower mountains but weaving riverbeds sometimes flowing sometimes dried out.  A lot of land throughout the country just unused, and maybe unusable. What I liked best about being on the train was meeting other people.  A family whose son has obsessions with trains (I learned a lot about trains and schedules and how late each train was);  A young girl from a small town in Missouri traveling to Los Angeles, California for the first time  to spend the summer with her father and thinking about what she wants to do with her future; a young adult from Missouri who spent his first week in the big city of Chicago and now on his way home; a Native American family traveling to their ancestral home for their annual gathering and dance; and lots and lots of boy scouts!!  The diversity and openness of people on the train reminds me of how people can be in community.  When we come together all of us different, we find a way to be together in harmony.  It is when we separate ourselves into our enclaves and limit our interactions that we learn to distant ourselves from the humanity of every person. Roll on Train.

At Upaya – as with most Zen Centers, there is no wifi, or even any cell service. There is no air conditioning. There is never enough draw space for all one’s clothing. Sharing a room is never really comfortable either. But I guess that is the point.  To not be comfortable. To find out what we need vs. what we want. To get to the core of what it is underneath that ails us. To find the peace within, that doesn’t need amenities to satisfy us.

I used Uber for the first time tonight. I walked into town – about 3 miles. I took the scenic route – a path along the river. It was nice to walk in the woods again, to be with nature. Even the couple of wrong turns I took, brought me to the rushing river, and I could revel in it flowing nature.  I had to walk over a couple of wooden/log bridges on the trek. Nothing really to worry about, but it was the concept of being suspended over the river. Not really knowing where I was going, (someone said, just follow the path by the river) but trusting that I would find my way.  And I did. But I did use Uber to come back. It was pretty cool. Quick service and there were not any other cabs to be seen. (just in case I was feeling guilty about busting the cabbie union).

I am not sure what it is that I hope to achieve this week. Just to explore, to center myself, to recapture and release the compassion and passion within me.  To remember who I am and why I am doing what I am doing.  I can and do this consistently throughout the year wherever I am, but coming here is an intentional recharging of my  soul.