Meanderings on Retreat Day 2 - Settling In.

January 28th
So I think it shows that sometimes you just have to ask for what you need. There is wi-fi, I just didn’t look in the right place. So now that I have it, I am not sure that I want to use it!!  Not.  Meditation this morning was deep, as deep as I have experienced in a while.  Part of it is the setting.  A very reverential zendo just for the purpose of meditating. It is why I like to meditate in the sanctuary. It is a place of reverence.  Meditating with people who have a deep commitment to it also I think lends an gravity to the moment.  I will need to ask for a chair as my knees just cannot hold up for the whole week.

I found out they had a labyrinth and walked it this morning. Always a powerful experience for me.  This one they have let the grass grow up throughout it, so in some places it is not so easy to see which direction to turn.  It is interesting to think about having to look down right in front of you and look carefully with each step that you take.  Sometimes on other more cleared labyrinths you can look ahead and see which way the trail turns.  It is interesting to think about that in relationship with our vision for the future.  Sometimes it is easy to look ahead and see which way to go.  Sometimes though you have to put one foot in front of the other and trust that the path is laid out correctly. And when there is a sudden turn you must have your head down looking for it and see it and turn or you will trip. Always a good lesson.

In the afternoon Zazen sitting, we faced the wall. This is one difference in Soto Zen vs. Vipassana or Thich Naht Han Mindfulness Meditation.  On the one hand I feel more of a connection with others if we are all facing each other.  On the other hand, well I am not so sure about the other hand. (Tevya where are you) I think on the other hand, I am less self conscious facing the wall, for I know if someone else looks, they will not see my imperfect form (Soto Zen is much more into form than Vispassana and I want to respectful to the setting I am in).   So being less self conscious (not that I REALLY am, just hypothesizing) it allows me to go deeper. That’s all I got?

 I am doing more meditation in a condensed time than I normally do.  The sitting is about 40 minutes.  I normally sit 30 minutes in the morning myself, and in our Sangha, we have two 20 minute sits. I liked sitting for the longer time period. It gave me some time to settle in.  Plus it was also good not being the leader of the group.  I enjoyed being able to just let that go. Yes, letting go into emptiness,a key message of Zen.


July 29th

Now on my second full day here, I am feeling quite relaxed and peaceful. It took 2 days to shed the weight of my  world off my mind.  I am not worried about what happened yesterday, or what might happen tomorrow or even next week when I return, but I am here very present in the moment, just writing and reading and contemplating life. It is a simple existence here.  Life here is built to be simple. I like it. I don’t even miss tv. (Although I admit, I checked the score of the Mets game on my phone). When things are simple it is easier to see what is real, what is important and what is imagination run amok. The real question is how long can I maintain this feeling when I am back from retreat. It will require the discipline of practice every day.  It is a way of life I strive to live (of course we shouldn’t strive in Buddhist thought). So day by day, one foot in front of the other.

Meanderings on Retreat - "Train Train Running All Night Long"

Riding on the train. It is like watching a nature film from the train window. Different animals, different landscapes. Illinois , Iowa  and Missouri with its flat  lands and rolling hills  of vegetation. Colorado, with it wondrous  mountains,New Mexico with lower mountains but weaving riverbeds sometimes flowing sometimes dried out.  A lot of land throughout the country just unused, and maybe unusable. What I liked best about being on the train was meeting other people.  A family whose son has obsessions with trains (I learned a lot about trains and schedules and how late each train was);  A young girl from a small town in Missouri traveling to Los Angeles, California for the first time  to spend the summer with her father and thinking about what she wants to do with her future; a young adult from Missouri who spent his first week in the big city of Chicago and now on his way home; a Native American family traveling to their ancestral home for their annual gathering and dance; and lots and lots of boy scouts!!  The diversity and openness of people on the train reminds me of how people can be in community.  When we come together all of us different, we find a way to be together in harmony.  It is when we separate ourselves into our enclaves and limit our interactions that we learn to distant ourselves from the humanity of every person. Roll on Train.

At Upaya – as with most Zen Centers, there is no wifi, or even any cell service. There is no air conditioning. There is never enough draw space for all one’s clothing. Sharing a room is never really comfortable either. But I guess that is the point.  To not be comfortable. To find out what we need vs. what we want. To get to the core of what it is underneath that ails us. To find the peace within, that doesn’t need amenities to satisfy us.

I used Uber for the first time tonight. I walked into town – about 3 miles. I took the scenic route – a path along the river. It was nice to walk in the woods again, to be with nature. Even the couple of wrong turns I took, brought me to the rushing river, and I could revel in it flowing nature.  I had to walk over a couple of wooden/log bridges on the trek. Nothing really to worry about, but it was the concept of being suspended over the river. Not really knowing where I was going, (someone said, just follow the path by the river) but trusting that I would find my way.  And I did. But I did use Uber to come back. It was pretty cool. Quick service and there were not any other cabs to be seen. (just in case I was feeling guilty about busting the cabbie union).

I am not sure what it is that I hope to achieve this week. Just to explore, to center myself, to recapture and release the compassion and passion within me.  To remember who I am and why I am doing what I am doing.  I can and do this consistently throughout the year wherever I am, but coming here is an intentional recharging of my  soul.

Movie Reviews - "Inside Out" (8 of 10) and "Terminator Genisys" (6 of 10)

Movie Review – Inside Out – an 8 out of 10 on the JWO scale.

One the challenges of not having young children in my household anymore is that I feel awkward going to animated movies without children.  I usually have to wait until the movie comes out on Cable or Pay per View. So when I was spending some time with my 6 year old granddaughter this week, I asked if she wanted to see “inside out” and I was thrilled when she said yes.  I think much of the beauty in this movie is that it works for both adults and children. In fact I would say it is geared more for older children (over 10?) but really it is geared for adults who struggle with sharing their emotions.  Even through the eyes of my 6 year old granddaughter the movie has a strong message about the importance of sharing your feelings. I think most of the complexities of the movie were over her head and I don’t think she understood towards the end, why her grandpa started  choking up and crying.  I think the movie was extremely clever in showing how our mind and memories work.  Its characters were 5 key emotions of one young girl. Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust are the five emotions that are highlighted.  It shows how all of them play a part in our development. It shows the danger when we are led by fear, Anger and/or disgust.  What was so important was the acknowledgment that sadness is an important part of what makes us whole.  If we ignore it, or subjugate it, we do so at our peril.  The movie shows how humans just try to soldier on with joy in the face of sadness and ultimately how fruitless that can be internally. It also shows the ying/yang of sadness and joy.  How we need to acknowledge the sadness in our lives to fully appreciate the joy in our lives.  At the end it shows the mingling of sadness and joy as part of our core memories that shape our lives. I think it raised an interesting question as to whether we need to let go of old memories/ideas in order to create new memories and ideas.  How old memories (Bing Bong) in this example sacrifice themselves for the greater good of the mind. I want to think about that one. If we had the power to eliminate traumatic events from our memory (in the movie the clown) should we?  With neuroscience advancing as far and as quick as it is, it is an ethical question we will have to address (A question the movie “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” I thought addressed interestingly). But for now this is a complex, fun movie with a powerful message of acknowledging the sadness in our lives and sharing our emotions with those we are closest to.  A good message and a good cry.   

Terminator Genisys – a 6 out of 10 on the JWO Scale

Arnold Schwarzenegger in his catch phrase promised he would be back, and he is. I have forgotten how many terminator movies this has been. The movie pays homage to the original Terminator series. This one puts a clever twist on the old story, and I thought for its genre it was cleverly written.  I have stated before (I think in regard to XMen) I think movies that use time travel as part of their plot shows a weakness in the writing. In this movie, time travel was a major plot line of the whole original storyline.  However, I never understood the logic that machines and humans could only send one traveler each through the portal. That to me was a fatal flaw in the original logic.  Clearly they agreed with me as now there are people and machines travelling all through time multiple times. What I thought was clever was how other characters who did not travel in time lived their life either affected by it, or waiting for future events to happen. Because of changes to the world due to time travel we have alternate realties that are created.  This always makes things confusing and requires a lot of explaining.  Potential Armageddon,  Great Special Effects, Time Travel, Lots of things blowing up.  If you like that, this is a good date movie. If you are looking for something with depth, well maybe something else then. 

Ode to My Children - a poem I wrote for Sunday's service "Black Lives Matter"

I always told my children

Who are now grown men

Not To Cower down to might

And to stand up for the right

I am blessed they are alive

And have a chance to thrive

I was ignorant their plight was hard

And how authorities played their cards

I didn’t tell them

They should obey

Always Do What they say

The Boys in Blue

It’s just the job they do.

Facing it every day

A Job driven by fear

Cant imagine what they see

Cant imagine what they hear

But the videos I see

Make me question, are we free

I see the after and not before

Its true I may not know the score

But shooting a man in the back

Its cowardly and unnecessary

And that is a fact

Pushing a child in bikini to the ground

Sitting on her  pulling her hair

Have we forgotten love

Have we forgotten care

Is it wrong,

Who am I to say

But due to my privilege

That’s the burden I must pay

I was born to write

I was born to speak

I cant be muted and

I cant be meek

Maybe if I stand up

To help end this racism

Maybe In the long run

It’ll  be a better place that we all live in

Maybe I stand up to the gun in my face

I stand with my brothers and sisters of a different race

Maybe I stand up with my face to the gun

Because maybe Next time

Maybe next time

They will target my sons

My sons,

They are all my sons

Wrote Arthur miller

He was condemning the capitalist

He was condemning war killers

The dead are all my brothers and sistas

We have to say more than just hey we’ll all  miss ya

We have to stop the notion

That people of color always cause  the commotion

We have to stop the

3^rd grade to prison pipeline

We have to stand up and say

It is way beyond time.

We have to stand up

And walk as allies

Or otherwise we allow

Others to perpetuate these white lies

I know I worry about my sons its true

And I do worry about the men in blue

To have such fear with the need to kill

Creates a heart with hate all filled.

So lets find love in our heart

Lets all do our part

Together if we walk

Together if we talk

The world will change

That may be unsettling

That may feel strange

The Buddha says we must awake

And it is true, There is much at stake

So now I ask you to stand with me

So together we can make the world see

That love has a power

Love can make hatred cower

That love dispels fear

And brings restorative justice near

Now I ask you to stand with me

To rise in body or spirit to sing

Our closing hymn

Building a new way number 1017

Two Movies - Two Visions of the Future

Mad Max Fury Road – a 4 out of 10 on the JWO scale
Mad Max is truly a dark vision of our dystopian future. It picks up after the Thunderdome, where it is clear Max failed to keep the children in his care safe which has sent him into madness and savagery. Maybe at this point I am just becoming jaded about movies like this, after seeing one too many. (which I think ties into the Tomorrowland theme). This movie just had an idiotic or no plot and script.  This movie seemed to be written with punk rockers and x games aficionados in mind.  I really just didn’t get the guitar player with fire coming out of guitar as something that would happen in a dystopian nightmare.  Would they really waste their energy on that.  I know, I know, its not real, only a movie, but if there is complete disregard for reality, then, this is not a real future possibility and whole premise of the movie falls apart. In fact there were times in the movie I actually laughed ouut  loud  due to seeming absurdity  in tthe movie  The movie’s violence and noise just didn’t appeal to me. I did  appreciate the feminist and ableist angle that the movie interjected.  It was novel for this type of  movie.  But it wasn’t enough to offset ongoing death and destruction with little or no plot line.  I like Tom Hardy and love  Charlize Theron as actors but they didn’t have much to work with here.

Tomorrowland a 6 out of 10 on the JWO scale
Tomorrowland has one strike against it immediately, because going in, I saw this cynically as a way for a  movie to promote the Disney Parks.  From a business perspective I like it, but from a movie perspective it takes a bit of the purity away from the movie.  Having said that, I enjoyed the movie. George Clooney puts in a typical George Clooney low key professional performance. Britt Roberston did a great job playing  the innocent energetic youthful imaginative budding engineer protagonist who wakens Clooney from his slumber.  The movie showed us two visions of the future, one idyllic, and another dystopic. I think you have to be physicist to understand the plot line regarding alternate universes and time shifting.   I gave up trying to figure that out after awhile. The movie’s message for me is what we spend our time on, what we focus on, will determine our future. If we dwell on the negative, the negative future will occur. If we dwell on the positive and act with wonder about what is possible we are more likely to create a world filled with wonder.  And by the way you can find wonder in Tomorrowland at Disney World. But I am sci-fi nerd and I appreciated the shots of the 64 worlds fair, and jet packs, and a multicultural, multiracial future and the questions about whether Artificial Intelligence can have emotion.  It was a fun movie with a good message.  Well worth watching.

Movie Review August: Osage County – a 7.5 on the JWO Movie Rating Scale

Perhaps because I just led a service on compassionate communications today that this movie struck a chord with me due to its lack of the same.  It is the story of a dysfunctional family after its patriarch has committed suicide (it happens in the first few minutes of the film, so I am not giving much away here). It is heavy on words and light on cinematography and action.  The acting is just spectacular, although occasionally over the top. There are just so many good performers in this, I almost didn’t recognize Abagail Breslin (from a great movie Little Miss Sunshine, which I now realize is 9 years old and it makes sense why I might not recognize her)  And although the matriarch of the family says she is truth telling, the movie is all about how the secrets we keep and the truth we hold within ourselves, ultimately poison us.  It is about how we really don’t understand others’ lives often, as one character states:

“Maybe its hard for you to believe, looking at me, knowing me the way you do, all these years. I mean, I know to you, Im just your old fat Aunt Mattie Fae. I’m more than that, sweetheart, there’s more to me than that.”

People don’t just fit into the nice little boxes we imagine them to be.  Life is more complex than that. The movie also shows how we are affected generationally by the suffering of our parents. It is clear how each one of the children is a reflection of and a reaction to their parents. And although the end of the movie didn’t tie everything up in a nice little bow, I think that is the point.  Our lives are never complete, and they are always unfolding.  The best we can do is to try to understand ourselves and bring the truth to light as difficult as it may be. 

Called

As I sit on the bluff
Overlooking the oceans waves
Crashing into the beach
I find myself called 
I hear the oceans roar
Calling me to jump in
And ride the wave
Even if I end up
Tumbling at the end
And taking in salt water
It calls to me and I answer
At least for today
Even at its heavy cost
That will require
Recuperation and rest
Until I venture out again
But is enough
For today
For it makes me feel alive
And as I meander
Around the bluffs
Regaining my strength
Amidst the grandeur
I see a beautiful flower
Surrounded by metal wires
As if in a cage
And I wonder
If it feels trapped
By its circumstances
And environment
But then I realize
The cage is protecting
The flower and I wonder
Would the flower
Rather be free
And live a shorter life
Or would it rather
Be protected
From the ravages of
The harsh world
And it's creatures
To just sit and
enjoy the grandeur
Day in and day out
I would like to sit
And ponder some more
But I am called
To other places
And by other circumstances
And environments
And I wonder
If those have protected me
Day in and day out
So that I might one day
Share beauty with
Someone passing by
And pondering
Life's mysteries
Rev. Jay - 02/04/15 Asilomar

Video Review of "Wolf of Wall Street" a 6 out of 10 on the JWO scale:

 I am not sure I get it.  Nominations for best actor and best movie?  I know everybody loves Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill (for different reasons I imagine).  And who doesn’t love Martin Scorsese.  This movie for over three hours tells about the real life exploits and excesses of Wall Street.  (I guess I didn’t see the cut version, which comes in slightly shorter). First DiCaprio.  I think he did a fine job acting.  Except I thought he playing Jack Nicholson.  Really, I kept imagining he was Jack Nicholson.  Maybe the character was like that. But as much as I love Jack, Leonardo should be acting, not imagining himself as Jack Nicholson. Ok, so that’s a little judgmental of me.  I admit it. (I like DiCapria, and appreciate his taking on a diversity of roles in other movies but this became a caricature).   Just too much over the top, no nuance.  Really I would say that is the problem with the whole movie…everything way over the top and no nuance.  I would have liked to have seen more about the FBI guy schlubbing his way through the case and what he was feeling about it.

For a much better movie on this topic of the penny stocks and abusive sales tactics….see the 2000 movie “Boiler Room” with Ben Affleck, Giovanni Riblisi and Vin Diesel (yes Vin Diesel) Much more depth to the characters and the stories. 

Three mini movie reviews of what I saw this past week - The Hobbit (part 23), Interstellar, The Grand Budapest Hotel.

The Hobbit Part 23 (ok, it just seems that way )  a 5 out of 10 on the JWO scale 

Possibly this should be titled, the many different ways to kill an orc. So the one thing the movie has going for it is its special effects, which were great.  Yes, it is a commentary on war and the need for good to stand in the face of evil.  Although after about an hour of ongoing slaughter, I started having fun thinking about the obnoxious elves and greedy dwarves as the 1% hoarding all the gold (unearned by the way and at the cost of the death of many innocent women and children in the nearby town) and healthcare (elves live long lives), and the orcs as the oppressed proletariat. Hmm..how would that change how we watched the movie.  I know its all a allegory of WWI but still as a movie, the heroes are not all admirable individuals.  Maybe that is the point.  Really, I am not sure there is a point other than to show off the wonderful scenery.

Interstellar a 7 out of 10 on the JWO scale

I enjoyed this movie.  I tend to like movies that deal with spaceflight, some sci-fi,  and dystopian futures,  so there is a bias here. It was a little slow at times, and the acting is not academy aware material, but still the movie was thoughtful, nostalgic and had meaning for me. Plus its always good to see Michael Caine.  I don’t know about the science underpinning the movie, but it gave me a couple of different perspectives of how our actions affect our future and our place in the Universe. I don’t want to say more without giving away the ending.  There was a point in the movie where the characters were faced with a tough decision.  One made a choice with pure utilitarian rationale. The other was guided by love. The character who makes their choice by love says 

“So listen to me when I say love isn't something that we invented. It's observable. Powerful. It has to mean something. Maybe it means something more - something we can't yet understand. Maybe it's some evidence, some artifact of a higher dimension that we can't consciously perceive. Love is the one thing that we're capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space. Maybe we should trust that, even if we can't understand it. “

Trust Love. I’ll take that message any day.

Video Review of the week – “The Grand Budapest Hotel” directed by Wes Anderson a 7.5 on the JWO scale.

Similar to Terrance Mallick, either you love Wes Anderson movies or you hate them.  They are quirky, fun, cleverly written stories with meanings within meanings, some of which I will never get until I watch the movie for the third time (or maybe never).  They make you chuckle, not guffaw. They show the innocence and complexity of life, and they point to what has most meaning in the world for their characters. There are cameos galore by many stars as well which is fun. His 2012 movie Moonrise Kingdom is one of my favorite films.  Grand Budapest is worth seeing. Although not quite as nostalgic as Kingdom, it does broaden the scope of the characters lives to the larger world around them.  This story centers on the concierge of the Hotel Mr. Gustave and his protégé Zero.  Its pointless to give you the plot because well, its just a fun roller coaster ride. Zero grown up, speaking of Gustav said, “To be frank, I think his world had vanished long before he ever entered it - but, I will say: he certainly sustained the illusion with a marvelous grace!”  May we face the world as it is, with grace and humor and integrity. .  It tells how circumstances around us change, but we can maintain our integrity. Or perhaps it shows the choice we make when we don’t change, how it affects us.  So much fun, so much to think about.

Book Review – Gilead

This book had been recommended by a number of Ministers I respect, so I picked up a copy and read it over the Thanksgiving Holiday.  It was one of two fiction books I have read this year.  With reading so much for sermon preparation in mind, I tend to read more theological/religous oriented books.  I can count on both hands the number of fiction books I have read since entering Ministry. (for the record, prior to ministry I was an avid fiction reader, particularly fond of the spy and science fiction genres. I am commited to reading more fiction in my life!!)   So now when I do read fiction, I really want to make sure it is going to be something I will enjoy!! 

Gilead is a pullitzer prize winner by Marilynne Robinson.  Set in a rural Iowa it is a dieing Ministers reflection on his life and his vocation to be shared in later years with his young child.  Although the book flows well it has a few slow patches.  Just like our lives have a few slow patches.  It is a thoughtful book.  I think it would be more appreciated by ministers who might see a bit of themselves, or probably moreso a commonality of feelings about the vocation itself.   I also think it is appealing to people who live in a rural environement.  The protagonist says “And I knew what hope it was. It was just that kind the place was meant to encourage, that a harmless life could be lived here unmolested.”  And yet, we know that no place provides a harmless life. And such a place creates a homogenous environment that is not safe for outsiders.  Still we all seek at least metaphorically or a state of mind that is harmless.  The story told the beauty of doing the small thing just for the sake of doing it and recognizing the beauty in that.  It also touches on the balance of staying in a safe place and going beyond it. How sometimes we have to leave to become who we were meant to be, or to create a new vision for ourselves.  Yet ultimately we have to find a place we can call home.   The book did not sugarcoat ministry by any means.  It showed the challenges, uncertainties and struggles of it.  It also showed the wonder and fulfillment of ministry. After providing care to someone he’d known as a child the protagonist said “Id have gone through seminary and ordination an all the years interveing for that one moment” I think every minister can relate to that. 

If you like action books, this one is not for you.  But if you like to see a slice of life of rural minister it is a balm.  

The Newsroom – Series Review a 7 out of 10 on the JWO Scale.

I like many probably saw the video below some time ago on Facebook.  Last night I watched the final episode of the 3^rd Season and I thought this episode really was well written and really ties up a lot of loose ends. Then I read today it is the series finale and well that makes a lot of sense.  Although the show had some ups and downs, Overall I liked the show.  I liked the witty banty between all the characters. This was a great ensemble cast of performers (Sam Waterson, Jeff Daniels, Emily Mortenson, Dev Patel, Oliva Munn and many more)  I like that it references Don Quixote often. I liked how it showed the transformation of people from the status quo to struggling to become principled people. I liked their  “mission to civilize”  Mostly I liked how it showed how our News has become entertainment.  I notice this more and more everynight when I watch national news.  Yes I do want to be kept up on pop culture in America, but there are other ways to do that than the nightly news.  I want to watch the news for news.  Its why I still read the NY Times every morning.  As Thomas Jefferson said “wherever the people are well informed they can be trusted with their own government;”  A good show, with good acting, with good writing, and a good message. Worth catching on re-runs if you haven’t seen it.   

In his speech why America is not the greatest country in the world the lead character states:

"It sure used to be… We stood up for what was right. We fought for moral reason. We passed laws, struck down laws, for moral reason. We waged wars on poverty, not on poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors, we put our money where our mouths were and we never beat our chest. We built great, big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases and we cultivated the world’s greatest artists AND the world’s greatest economy. We reached for the stars, acted like men. We aspired to intelligence, we didn’t belittle it. It didn’t make us feel inferior. We didn’t identify ourselves by who we voted for in the last election and we didn’t scare so easy. We were able to be all these things and do all these things because we were informed… by great men, men who were revered. First step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one." 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16K6m3Ua2nw

A Lament for Racial Justice

I have been out of the pulpit the past two weeks, and there have been some deep sorrows in the larger world, and I am sorry I was not here to speak about it.  There have been multiple instances where people of color have been killed by white police officers without repercussion.   I feel a deep sorrow for  Michael Brown and his family who was shot dead in the street in Ferguson Mo.  I have a deep sorrow for the loss of 12 year old Tamar Rice in Cleveland who while playing with a toy gun, was shot by a policeman within two seconds upon that officer’s arrival on the scene.  Clearly a preventable death based on fear. 

Lastly the most blatant, this week authorities in New York, did not press charges in the death of Eric Garner, which was filmed, and from the video clear, that he was attacked by police using an illegal chokehold. Again, certainly a preventable death. The truth is there are many many many more, but these are just the most egregious that make the news.I am not here today to argue the facts of each of these cases, some are complex, some seem more simple to me, and I will talk more about theses issues and the issue of systemic racism in January. 

Today though,  I am here to share a lament with you.

I lament for the lives that were cut short needlessly,

I lament for a government that feels the best way to work with the community is to become a

            police state with military weapons.  

I lament a system that lacks transparency and accountability. For this there is a deep sorrow in

            the loss of our freedoms in light of all these tactics.   

I lament a system that starts with the assumption of fear and guilt upon meeting people of color.  
I lament the system where poor people are in an environment that offers few opportunities.

I lament the system that in light of all of this, continues to gut public education which will allow

            even less opportunity.

I lament the system that sometimes leaves no other recourse but violence.  Martin Luther King wrote “When there is a rock hard intransigence or sophisticated manipulation that mocks the empty handed petitioner, rage replaces reasons”  

Now I grew up in a neighborhood in New York City which police officer’s lived and it was a very racially charged environment.  Most of the officers I knew were good people trying to do a difficult dangerous job as best as they could. When my neighbors house was being robbed in the middle of the day, I was right outside when the robber tried to escape, so we put out a call in the neighborhood, Soon doors in the neighborhood opened and officers came running,  chasing and capturing the intruder.  I remember this clear as day from my childhood.  Parents telling us to get inside, as we continued to chase the robber around the neighborhood through back yards and fences. In fact, the police saved the intruders’ life at the hands of my neighbor who was more than a little pissed off when he caught him.  So I am not here to vilify police officers. There are many many good caring police officers.  But that does not excuse bad policing when it happens. And I can tell you that throughout our country many people of color do not feel safe and secure when they encounter police.

I have a deep sorrow, a sorrow for our country that seems to be waking up to the disparity of power and wealth and opportunity, and instead of seeking justice, many in our country continue to live in fear and impose oppression against that which they fear. Now I know the Quad Cities is not New York, Cleveland, or St. Louis. I think that’s why many of us like it here.  But we are not without our own  faults.  I encourage you to read the profiling report compiled by the Davenport Civil Rights Commission.  We must remember what affects the world affects us. Let us not blind ourselves to world around us.  We as a nation have deep wounds that still needs to be healed,

it is the wound of slavery,

the wound of Jim Crow,

the wound of discrimination,

the wound of racial profiling

the wound of consistent harassment of people of color,

the wound  of the school to prison pipeline,

the wound of poverty,

it is an open wound of ongoing racism that has become systemic in our society, and if we do not heal this wound, if we do not heal each other, that wound will fester and grow, and destroy us all.  We can not hide from this. Let us continue to educate ourselves, let us continually listen to what our brothers and sisters of color have to say about the circumstances of their lives, which trust me, most of us cannot even imagine, And let us be allies to people of color in their struggle for peace liberty and justice. 

"The Drop" an 8 out of 10 on the JWO Movie Rating Scale

For my choice of movies for my birthday  (no vetoes allowed on birthday weekend movie choices,) , I chose “The Drop” over other blockbuster movies to see.  If for no other reason, I wanted to see the late great James Gandolfini’s  last movie.   It’s a small, slow moving slice of life movie about a group of people in Brooklyn.  Gandolfini plays Marv, the former owner of a bar who still manages the bar for Chechnya Criminals. He is a former loan shark, way past his best days living with his sister with a mother in a nursing home that he cannot afford.  Tom Hardy plays Marv’s cousin Bob who tends bar and  used to be involved in Marv’s crew years before.  Hardy plays Bob completely low key, I think maybe too low key, but I guess that is the point.  At times you are not sure if he has aspersers, or if he is just a simple quiet guy, or a genius with deep but silent thoughts.  He might just be all three.  There are a number of intertwining storylines that work their way through the movie, including Tom’s relationship with a woman, rescuing a dog, and a robbery of the bar.  The one thing I didn’t like about the movie is that I figured out the ending fairly early on.  But those storylines are all contrivances for the movie’s deeper meanings.  The movie raises a number of deep questions for us to ponder. And God knows I live for deep questions to ponder.  Is it better to be alone or to be connected with others?  Is there redemption for the sins of our past?  How do we (can we ever) overcome the suffering in our life?  How do we deal with fear? Examining the danger of trying to live in the past or worse, recreating an illusionary version of our past?  Can we be both righteous and good and evil at the same time.  Why do we crave respect from others?  How people come into our lives for better and for worse when we are not ready and how to be open and deal with it. How do the circumstances of our life shape us and can we transcend that. What are we willing to sacrifice for what we want?  Good ideas to be raised and explore.  It is both a simple and complex movie wrapped into one. Just the kind of movie I like. 

Book Review – "Falling Upward" by Richard Rohr.

Richard Rohr is a Franciscan priest, who carries on the Christian Mystic tradition. He was deeply influenced by Thomas Merton.  In this book Rohr weaves the story of Jesus and Christianity, the Greek Myths of the Hero’s journey,  modern psychology, literature and even a connection with Buddhism.   It is a short easy to read book. The major premise of the book is that we have two stages of life, and that we must transcend the first stage to reach the second stage.  That transcending may be leaving behind ideas that we were raised with, as well as the search for our true self beyond the rational thought.  “We do what we are called to do, and then try to let go of the consequences”.  Words spoken by saints and madmen.  I would contend we are responsible for the consequences of our actions.  The key from a Buddhist perspective is not to become attached to the outcome for that causes suffering.  That doesn’t mean we abdicate responsibility, just our abdication of our longing for a hope for outcome. Rohr’s contention is that suffering is the catalyst that moves us to spiritual growth. I think that suffering can and often has moved others to grow and to transcend.  However the struggle I have with Christian versus Buddhist thought is that Buddhism accepts all of life is suffering and offers a path to end suffering. Christianity and even in some ways Rohr, seems to encourage actively engaging in suffering as the path to enlightenment. I think Christians fell in love with the suffering Jesus  I think this is a dangerous perspective.  I am more easily able to relate to the heroes journey, and returning home with new wisdom, or the Siddhartha leaving the palace, experiencing suffering and searching for meaning, than I am to Jesus suffering on the cross. . Rohr, uses this metaphorically, but we all know how many people use this suffering metaphor as a reason to not transcend their environment of suffering.. Rohr actually does say “Failure and suffering are the great equalizers and levelers among humans. …There is a strange and even wonderful communion in real human pain, actually much more than in joy, which is too often manufactured and and passing”  Yes, there is commonality in human pain, but that is different than communion.  We need to face our pain, recognize our pain, and even embrace our pain.(I think Rohr would agree)  But pain in and of itself is not a virtue. Much of the book reads like a eastern religious guide to no-self, non-dualistic way of being.  (which is what we find in the second part of our life). Sadly most of Christianity does not see the Jesus story in that way. In fact, almost all of Christianity sees the Jesus story in a pure dualistic way.  Rohr tries to point us to the farther shore, but I am still looking at his finger pointing to it. I love the mystics, and the mystical tradition. But at some point you have to come down from the mountain (out of the monastery) and be compassionate to others, and engage with the others in the larger world to help others end their own suffering.  It is ok to be for yourself, but as Rabbi Hillel says “if I am only for myself, who am I?”  I think Rohr would agree with this. His is an all inclusive message of God’s love for all people, and all creation and that being in the second stage of our life leads us to eliminate the need to have barriers between us. It’s a good book, not a great book. It didn’t move me tremendously. It did remind me though to look at what are the issues that cause me to react and to see where that is coming from. Always a good reminder.  As in Dante’s Divine Comedy, we are all Virgil, we are all Beatrice,  guides through Hell and Heaven. We are all Odysseus trying to find our way home. As T.S. Eliot wrote

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”

X-Men Days of Future Past (or is it days of past future) – a 6 out of 10 on the JWO Movie Rating Scale

I admit, I am sentimental about the X Men because I grew up reading their comics. I was particularly fond of Wolverine because in the comic he was short (nothing against Hugh Jackman – I think he is a fine, but tall Wolverine) and at times Wolverine focused on a  Japanese Bushido theme.  But really, how many X Men movies has it been now? I lose count. I think with the Wolverine movies it is up to 7. I don’t know. At some point they all seem to blend together.  I think time travel is poor plot contrivance for a movie. Yes, I know, how is it I can easily accept the concept of mutants but not time travel.    There was a nice unexpected twist at the end, and I think it points out how even one action we take for better or worse can affect the/our future, but otherwise, saving everyone by changing the past is too simple a solution to a complex world. This seems to be a common plot theme in transition movies – Star Trek with Kirk and Picard, and then later with both old and young Spock. And now once again with younger and older X Men (and on that note, why do they call them X Men when the team includes women.) I don’t know, but I found myself bored after over two hours. And for God’s sake, do not make me sit through the entire credits to see a 20 second coming attraction for the next X Men Movie, which is now an annoying common practice for Marvel Movies.  

Heart of the Minister – May 2014 – Looking Back and Looking Forward.

At the Interfaith Yom HaShoah service that I participated in recently, I said “The philosopher, George Santayana once warned, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” But I don’t think that goes far enough.  Just because one remembers the past does not lead to the conclusion that we will avoid the same outcome.”  We not only need to remember, but we need to change the way we act in the future to avoid the same outcome.

In that light, at this time of year, our leadership group starts to look back upon the past year and evaluate what has worked,  what has not worked,  how we can improve, and what are the ongoing needs of the community.  This past year we have launched two major new teams, The Spiritual Practices and Programs Team and the Lay Pastoral Care Team. Outside the building we now see the beginnings of our Giving Garden led by our Green Sanctuary program, and Children’s Religious Education expects to break ground on a new Playground this spring. Our BGLQTIA social justice program has been very active this year and they have requested that the Congregation vote at our Annual Congregational meeting to reaffirm our “Welcoming Congregation” status. The Green Sanctuary social justice program has also been very active in all areas of Congregational life and will be submitting their final paperwork to have us recognized by the UUA as a Green Sanctuary Congregation.  I also want to point out that after trying a couple of methods over the past three years that did not work as well as hoped, our Welcome Team continued to be innovative and has implemented “Hospitality Teams” that seeks to include the entire Congregation in the process of Hospitality. This has improved the Sunday morning experience tremendously.  I thank the team for their perseverance and reminding us of the need to reinvent ourselves if our methods are not working.  I could go on and on with the additional programming of other Social Justice programs, Connection Circles, Music,  Nominating,  Welcome, Forum, Children’s and Adult Religious Education, (and others who I cannot think of off the top of my head as we reach the newsletter deadline) but space does not allow.

For next year, I am already in discussions with various members about their desire to start an Earth Centered Tradition and Christian “Source” programs. My vision is to create an environment where congregants through teams can find or create programs that allow them to delve deeper into a particular theological source of inspiration.  I want to give a special thanks to the Growth and Strategic Planning task forces which have given us a roadmap for the future and the generosity of the Congregation which has given us the opportunity to implement the Strategic Plan. 

With everything listed (and unlisted) above, there are still areas we need to improve upon.  After increasing for two years, overall attendance at our Sunday Services decreased. Some of this is due to committed members who have moved out of town, or are spending more time in Arizona during the cold winter.  Some of it I believe has to do with the new schedule we implemented this year.  Over the next few months we will be discerning what is the best way to move forward next year with the Worship Schedule.  I have started discussing this with the Sunday Morning Program Teams (Religious Services, Music, Forum, Children’s Religious Education and Welcome) . Throughout the discernment process we will be asking for feedback from you as to the best way for the Congregation to move forward to achieve our mission and vision in regard to worship.  Once I have a had a chance to meet with all the Teams that are responsible for creating Sunday programming,  I will hold a town hall meeting with the Congregation to hear your feedback before making a final decision on how to move forward.  As always, if you wish to discuss this or anything with me personally, please make an appointment to meet with me. I look forward to these conversations.

When I was called by the Congregation to be your minister, you shared with me your hopes and dreams for the Congregation’s future. Every action I take is guided by what I believe is necessary to fulfill the vision and mission of our Congregation.  I understand that not everyone is going to agree with every decision that is made. Even if you do not agree, I ask for your support in our common endeavor.  In governance parlance, there are multiple styles of congregations.  The first style is a family congregation, which is small, and where all decisions are made by a few people and is often lay led. The next style is a pastoral congregation, where the Minister sees and knows everyone personally, and makes all the crucial decisions about all aspects of community life.  The third style is a program congregation, where the program teams are delegated authority to make decisions for their teams.  We have for 50 years or so have been a  pastoral size Congregation.  The past 5 years, the Congregation has taken intentional steps to put in organizational structures so we can become a program style congregation.  The purpose of this is to be able to offer more quality programs and to reach more individuals in the community with our message of religious freedom.  Moving from a pastoral congregation to a program style congregation does create change. And change creates anxiety. Change can require hard work and hard conversations.  Let us engage in those conversations with an open heart and an open mind.  Let us not shirk from change.  Let us remember what has happened every other time we have faced this precipice and stepped back.  This time, let us go far enough to change in order to achieve our Vision and Mission.

with a grateful heart

Rev. Jay

Oblivion – a 6 out of 10 on the JWO scale.

The message of this movie is you can never have enough Tom Cruises and drones are bad.  It was a slow moving but interesting sci-fy movie about a post alien invasion. It shows us  how the stories we are told are not necessarily true,  how the memories in our subconscious can lead the way to transformation, and how true love always wins out in the end.  Not bad messages, but I could have gotten there sooner. 

Movie Review – Inside Llewellyn Davis – an 8.5 out of 10 on the JWO Scale

In the movie there is a scene with a back and forth with the lead male character and the lead female character where he says “There are two kinds of people in this world, those who divide the world into two kinds of people and (and then she interrupts him and says) and losers.  I feel that way about the Coen Brothers movies. Either you love them as deeply meaningful insights into life, or you think they are boring droll.  I admit I am in the former category, but I am open to there being nuance and I think that is the message the movie is trying to send. The balance of pure integrity and selling out and  how difficult it is to find a balance between the two. It is the story of  a folk musician in the Greenwich Village Scene in the 1960s who is struggling to make it and his downward spiral into bitterness.  There are so many layers to the movie, some subtle (John Goodman Character and his driver), some not so subtle, (like when his father defecates after Llewellyn plays him a song. ).  Davis is aghast that his friend wrote a song that Davis considered beneath him, but it becomes popular and Llewellyn misses out on the royalties. Its more complex than that but the irony is obvious and dripping.

For me, there were two scenes that were unbelievably powerful. One involves when he is leaving a car, and he has to decide whether to take his cat along with him.  Technically not his cat, but one he had adopted and taken on this road trip he was on.  In that instance, there was an eternity. Making the harder choice is, (it would be hard to audition at a club with a cat in tow), or making a necesarry choice to abandon one’s responsibility and leave others (the cat in this instance) to the hands of fate and the one’s fellow companions.  We often know when we are faced with that choice, when we have to leave someone or something behind, knowing it will be hurtful to them, but knowing we can not move forward with them. We try to rationalize, and it may be necessary, but it doesn’t make the choice easier or the ramifications less painful. And the choice we make determines the fate of both for better or worse.  

The second scene was on the return trip to New York, from the road trip, and he sees the exit for his ex-girlfriend and son’s town in Ohio.  Again in that moment he has to make a decision as to whether to get off, to possibly reconnect and become part of a family and trade in his dream to be a performer.  The choices we make, sometimes to continue on, to not settle, leads to our destruction. Sometimes complete abdication of our integrity leads to our destruction as well. Its scenes like this that make me still thinking about the movie and its depth.  The choices are stark in the movie, but in real life, it is not always that obvious. 

Side note - The Coen brothers are so good at creating caricatures. Their portrayal of the New York City upper west side intelligentsia who want their friends to meet their “folk singer friend” and are overly forgiving no matter how boorish and ungrateful Davis is,  was spot on.   The folk music was nice as well. 

A good movie to see, A good movie to dwell on. 

March 2017 - "Its that Time of Year"

March 2017 – “It’s That Time Of Year”

I am so excited that there is such a depth of programming at our Congregation that adds meaning to so many lives.  Our new daycare center that we opened two years ago with its sliding scale fees, now helps 25 low income families find safe and enriching child care for their families.  I am also extremely proud to announce that our Director of Religious Education, Sarah Moulton, helped organize an Interfaith Youth Group within the Quad Cities that is working to create a peaceful and environmentally sustainable future for our community. This summer, we are looking at starting our weekly UU Day Camp.  Our long term plan calls for us to start a charter school with an emphasis on ethics education.  Our Emerson Series of lectures on Religion and Science has received national attention as we explore new ways to share our religious views with others in the community. We have experienced continued expansion of our offerings from our “Spirituality Center of the Quad Cities,” which offers many paths to enlightenment and awareness, to a diverse group of people.  Our new Ministerial Intern has developed more fully our Campus Ministry program expanding from Augustana College to include St. Ambrose as well.  Our Community Garden has grown significantly from our first few raised beds in 2014. We have so much food that we are considering purchasing some land to start a Vegetarian/Vegan Restaurant to spread our belief in healthy and ethical eating.  I am continuing my work with Quad Cities Interfaith as we try to create a more just Quad Cities. It is heartening to see so many of our members in their “Standing on the Side of Love” tee shirts at local social justice events in the community. Unitarian Universalism is alive, well, and vibrant in the Quad Cities. 

This article started with a typo. I meant to write March 2014, and accidently wrote 2016. When I did that, I wondered what I might be writing in March of 2016. After having some fun imaging all the things we could possibly do, I realized it would take more than two years, so I changed it to 2017!!  Unitarian Transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Shallow people believe in luck or in circumstance. Strong people believe in cause and effect.” (The Conduct of Life, 1860.)  None of us know what the future will bring. However we know if we hope to fulfill our vision and mission, we will need to plan for it. It will not happen by chance. For almost a year, leaders of the Congregation have been working to create a Strategic Plan.  We believe through the implementation of this plan we can change people’s lives for the better. To do this, we need to maintain and to add to the quality programs we offer in the Congregation.  To make this so, now is the time to start implementing the Strategic Plan, not some time in the distant future.  NOW.  So I am asking you to discern what this Congregation means to you and how it has impacted your life.  Just as important, discern what it could mean to you and others in the future. We can make a difference.  We need you to help us make that difference.   I ask you to consider this when you consider your pledge for this year.  We will be kicking off our annual budget drive this year with a Celebration Brunch as part of our service on Sunday March 16^th.  I hope to see you there. If you have any questions about your pledge or the strategic plan, please do not hesitate to set up an appointment to talk with me.

with a grateful heart

Rev. Jay

Aspirations

     This time of year we are asked to make New Year’s Resolutions.   I believe we could take any day to make a resolution. However it is never a bad idea to use a point in time, or multiple points in time to do this.  Throughout the year, we can reassess how we have performed on previous resolutions and adapt as necessary.  But I think resolutions have to start with aspirations. I have found it easier to achieve resolutions if I know what it is I hope the outcome to be. I have found it helpful to be very specific in my outcome. The specific outcome will make the specific resolution very different. If I want to lose 10 lbs. over three months, my resolution would have to be different than if I wanted to lose 10 lbs. over 12 months.

Even more importantly, I ask myself why I want that outcome.  My aspiration is to live a healthier lifestyle in 2014.  Specifically I want to lose 20lbs over the next 12 months by eating healthier food and exercising at least 3 times a week. Feel free to check in with me throughout the year to see how I am doing.  I will still be bringing bagels on Sunday, but I may have to cut back on my personal intake of them!! The reason I want to be healthier is to have more energy for our Ministry together and to be able to live a longer, active life, so I may see my children and grandchild(ren) continue to grow older for as long as possible.  I ask you to think about your aspirations and resolutions, but more importantly to ask yourself why?  There is power in focusing on why.

As we do this for ourselves, I also discern what my resolutions and aspirations are for the Congregation.  The aspiration is easy. We have our vision and mission to guide us. The question is why and how.  The why for me is to have a positive impact on facilitating changes for the better in individual lives, our Congregational Community, and the Quad Cities.

To achieve this, my resolutions for myself and the Congregation are:

To have patience in moving forward.

To not be resolved to personal outcomes, but to the Congregational Mission and Vision.

To experiment with different ways of experiencing Congregational Life

To remain open to new people, new ideas and new ways of being in the world.

To be open to change.

To listen more and judge less.

To forgive each other for failures, including our own.

To move forward with hope for a better future.

To be willing to act to make that better future real.

To act with compassion in all our interactions both within and outside the Congregation.

No one knows what the future will bring.  Knowing that we will be together to explore the future, should give us not only comfort but the courage to face that uncertainty.  If not us, who? If not now, when? The Quad Cities needs us.  The Congregation needs you. We need each other.  Let us be resolved to journey towards our greatest aspirations.

with a grateful heart,

Rev. Jay