Thursday, July 30, 2009

Mindful meanderings July 30th

My plant. I wonder if I should name my plant. I thought about it today. I thought about how much do I need to water it..i hadn’t watered it yet. I wondered whether I should plant it in the ground or plant it in a pot….now it is in a plastic bowl it came in from the store. I wonder what (if) the plant feels about being in a plastic bowl versus a ceramic pot, versus in the ground. Would one help it grow more. I wonder if it can sense that sort of thing….anyway when I came home…it was raining….i decided to just put the plant out in the rain….what more natural water could it get….i wonder if plants like rain water more than tap water…..

Animals in the wild…..other than squirrels….I usually try to avoid them. I usually avoid squirrels to, but they are fun to watch running around and around the tree…..I listen for the birds chirping or the frogs croaking (cant miss those at night). Animals in the wild have always been a curiosity to me, not having grown up with them…..they were things you went to see at the zoo. So of course wild animals being behind cages and barriers of course leads one to fear them….and of course there is good reason to fear some of them….although I imagine they have a lot more to fear of humans than humans from them….

Thoughts – I was eerily mellow and at peace all day….I don’t know why I would say eerily….but it was…almost surreally peaceful…..still trying to balance time with commitments and desires….have to make sure I have time to do the things I need to do….but what do I really need. I worked mostly today….that really doesn’t take too much thought….had to deal with someone who made a veiled racist remark….I didn’t find myself getting angry….just contemplative…almost looking at it the situation from a detached point of view..i said to myself…these are not my people…but I realized everyone is my people, even this person with all their fears…and how do I reach them…not in this current position I am in……..even this morning when I went to Duncan Donuts and I asked them for a toasted bagel with butter and I specifically said not too much butter. When it came of course it was slopped with butter….I say of course, because even though I always ask this rarely do people listen….I think that is a lesson….listen to what people are asking you…but even more remarkably….going with the eerily peaceful thing….anger did not rise up in me at the bagel buttering person. I do not think it is resignation that it will not change…I just came to the realization that I was not going to allow anything to upset my mood…I didn’t not consciously think this…I was just in the moment….I find myself just going through the motions at work….although my going through the motions is still better than most….and I find not being so intense about things….allows things to go more smoothly….how and why do I feel this way some days…It is not a conscious thing….but I will not worry about it today….

No comments: